I’m having a hard time finding the time to write and the material to write.
My brain is feeling fine. My emotions are in check, but what is going on.. where am I? I thought once you find the “right” dose your suppose to be right back at where you was. Where “was” I? Who was I before mental illness knocked me on my ass and made me into who I am today.
I think my husband is having a hard time with the semi-restricted me. I go to bed the same time every night, i’m saving money, not spending every cent I have. Things are changing inside and out
but for how long?…
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
I know that feeling! I could never put my finger on it, but although my meds were keeping me straight and everything seemed to be okay, I still didn’t feel like the person I was before. It feels like a type of innocence has been lost, I can’t go back to blissful ignorance, and sometimes I sure wish that I could. I’ve come to accept that this altered version of myself is OK because it is better than uncontrolled mania or depression any day. But in the back of my mind I’m always a little afraid of when the hammer is going to drop again.
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Have you ever told your husband how you really feel?
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It sounds like you are doing the right things. Meds didn’t help me immediately to feel “happy,” but I certainly became more stable. Hoping for the same for you.
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