Are you angry right now? What does it feel like? What does it look like??
Sometimes SHIT comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get BACK UP
When it knocks you down
I know this isn’t a mental illness song but it’s lyrics can definitely used in how we feel about stuff. Love feels the same as pain, shame, hate, anger. It’s all feelings and they all knock us damn down sometimes.
Get back up.
I am so so surprised.
What happened? Did he leave any note? Man, I remember watching him and wanting to be him. Wanting to live his life.
His life was just like mine.
I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.
His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”
WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?
My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.
Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….
A U T H O R I T Y.
My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.
Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.
Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.
I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.
This is my way to say: “yeah right”
Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.
I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.
I think this is what you call normal for me now.
I’m eating Salmon right now for breakfast and i love it on bagels and just on a fork..
Go eat some. If you don’t like fish or will die, don’t do it but now at least you have some brain knowledge for someone else. ✌🏿
Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.
PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.
I’m having a hard time finding the time to write and the material to write.
My brain is feeling fine. My emotions are in check, but what is going on.. where am I? I thought once you find the “right” dose your suppose to be right back at where you was. Where “was” I? Who was I before mental illness knocked me on my ass and made me into who I am today.
I think my husband is having a hard time with the semi-restricted me. I go to bed the same time every night, i’m saving money, not spending every cent I have. Things are changing inside and out
but for how long?…