2016 please come now!

my holiday was bad. really bad.

my family made me feel like shit this Christmas, in turn, making me feel like shit the whole weekend. I spent my weekend locked up in my house, on the couch, alone. I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, hang out, nothing..

i feel bad because i feel like i ruined Christmas but the people around me didn’t care about my feelings at all so my holiday was ruined.

ugh to the people around me.

ugh to the holidays.

ugh to myself for not getting up and leaving this place when i could.

Under construction..maybe

I have decided to not say anything until 2016. I have let my blog sit way to long without any love or words. Its my fault. I’m so wrapped up in bullshit I don’t see the light, hell the tunnel for that case.

Please be patient and stick around if you want. I promise I’ll make things better.

This blog can help so many, but i’m letting it slip…

 

ps. someone STOLE my URL so stay tuned for that as well

 

Rolling on the River – Tina Turner

I am rolling! Rolling on the river of SUCKY people around me.

I rolling around wondering that since I don’t really horrible anymore, everyone else is..

People, big wheels keep on turning, and so does problem and this wave that is coming at you.

Just roll..

 

p.s. i’m sorry i’m so dark, but shit, you should see what’s going on on the other side of the screen…love you all though. hope your well and your mind hasn’t gotten the best of you. fight. fight. fight

Dangerous Thoughts 

I am that thinking horrible thoughts. Not like I want to kill myself or other. They are thoughts about something I not really ready to tell anyone about. They are new and I don’t really want to give them any room to grow.

They are kind of dangerous.

I will tell you that they stem from something that has already happened..and I’m afriad will happen again.

I know what thoughts like this can do and I’m not letting them get to me. We have to push through and overcome.

Dangerous thoughts you can overcome.

What’s up Doc!?

Made an appointment and still going strong on meds.

What am I to say when I go? I really want to be off but on the other hand your comments have made me feel like I need to stay…

Thanks for that again. Its just when your feeling good everything changes.

Ps.. What am I doing with this blog! I’m thinking of… No let me not say just yet.

How are you feeling??

Internship over and I’m okay!

I worked so hard that my boss was impressed with me and even gave me a gift basket at the end with really good goodies. 

I rocked it. And I took my medicine the whole time.

I could see that the city was getting to me. Mentally and psychically. I was getting irritated and just down the right not in a good mood the last few days. I don’t like feeling like that so I know it’s my environment that helps as well.

I will be going back in February and I’m really excited to be asked to. I’ll just make sure to know how to take care of myself and to make sure to take my medicine the whole time.

I’m back!!!

What Medication??

so I totally forgot to take my mess for about 3 days!

I’m in New York doing an internship and there was just a slip of my mind. No it doesn’t have anything to do with not wanting to take it anymore, I seriously forgot.

I couldn’t sleep, I was feeling good but tired, a little little edgy, and it was because I totally forgot.

New York is great! I’m running around like a New Yorker, doing shows, learning, feeling like I’m actually helping out my boss, so I feel good!! She is super great but a little stand off ish. I think that just may be her way of dealing with assistants, but I’m trying to change that.

Anyways I got a great You’re Just Like Me coming next week and hopefully more updates on the blog.

But enough about me..

Hey YOU! You doing okay??