I am so so surprised.
What happened? Did he leave any note? Man, I remember watching him and wanting to be him. Wanting to live his life.
His life was just like mine.
I am so so surprised.
His life was just like mine.
Your battle is over.
I’m sorry Mental Illness took you but don’t worry, millions of people will look at your story and decide suicide is not for them.
Suicide is not for you. It’s not for anyone.
Until next time…RIP
I recently got back into magazines and got a subscription to People.
Every week in People there is a real story about a real tragedy that always involves Mental Illness.
Instead of talking about Mental Illness and signs to help loved ones (so you dont tragically end of like that) they talk about why you wear orange…for Gun violence.
Gun violence? This man was going through severe depression and shoots himself and you blame the gun? You said before that your dad bought the gun he was okay. (or was he?) Something happened to make him not okay
It wasn’t the gun. Gun violence is horrible though but it is it just the problem.
I think if we focus more on the root of the tree, we could get to why the branches we acting crazy..
I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.
His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”
WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?
My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.
Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….
A U T H O R I T Y.
My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.
Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.
Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.
I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.
This is my way to say: “yeah right”
I’m eating Salmon right now for breakfast and i love it on bagels and just on a fork..
Go eat some. If you don’t like fish or will die, don’t do it but now at least you have some brain knowledge for someone else. ✌🏿
Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.
PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.
Why is it…every holiday…I go crazy? Just really insane?
I get really angry and shitty to my family. I withdrew from the world just to pop back into it tomorrow at work.
I am getting tired of exchanging my happiness for this stupid disease. This thing that had a hold on me since the beginning of this blog to now.
I thought I’ve moved on. I thought I could carry on with my life thinking it was just a sad phase. Now that there is a little me in the world and this thing keep popping it’s head up…I have to think that this is forever. Completely. 100%.
I’m tired and pissed that I am doing this again.
I’m going to Harden my Heart
because this mental illness is making me feel really vulnerable and stupid.
I have been jamming to this song because it sums up exactly how I’m feeling..
Yup! It’s creeping on me yet again..
I don’t know why but lately I’ve been hating everything and every one. It sucks. Work has been hard because I hate my co workers. Home has been hard because I hate my husband and my cats. The internet sucks because I hate writing and everything media related.
Yeah, its been THAT KIND of anger and I don’t know how to shake it.
I need mediation, a spell, a serum or a wish because this anger might be here for the long run.
but… its also the Mercury Retrograde happening, and that isn’t good.
There is a lot going on and I can’t seem to control anything.
I’m having a hard time finding the time to write and the material to write.
My brain is feeling fine. My emotions are in check, but what is going on.. where am I? I thought once you find the “right” dose your suppose to be right back at where you was. Where “was” I? Who was I before mental illness knocked me on my ass and made me into who I am today.
I think my husband is having a hard time with the semi-restricted me. I go to bed the same time every night, i’m saving money, not spending every cent I have. Things are changing inside and out
but for how long?…
Thanks to #mentalhealthphotoday on the B.U.L. blog I actual learned a lot about different mental illnesses and how to protect myself.
I hope you enjoyed these images, and I hope you host our own #MHPD on your blog!
From now to then. My change. MY JOURNEY.
A great WordPress.com site
global group of international organization for poverty & disable development program
Finding normality within Bipolarity. The inner musings of a chemically challenged manic-depressive. Mildly* asocial and a purveyor of awesome.
My outward-facing thoughstream on living with mental illness
But still worth reading.
Raise mental illness awareness. Stop the stigma. Save a life.
Coping and living with PTSD, Depression and extreme childhood trauma.
Change your heart. Change the world. EVOLVE... there's a bit of love in every transformation.
It's not what you say it's how u say it that determines how I feel...