Are you angry right now? What does it feel like? What does it look like??
I got a great email from Grace over at Online Therapy who recommended a great start for people who need some addiction advice and where to start!
Click the link to check it out and make sure you check out OnlineTherapy.com
I’m running fast, you?
Have you taken a mental note on how you are feeling for real?
Are you angry? Sad? Jealous? Nervous? Why? For no reason? Yeah, I understand you.
This Bipolar thing is hard. Emotions pop up on you for nothing, making you feel shit, then spiraling your day into mess.
Medicine m? A good doctor? Observation. I have NO IDEA! That is a journey for you friend but KNOW that whatever you are feeling right now will pass, like shit through the body. It will go and come like a river, just keep paddling bro.
I hope that helped.
I am so so surprised.
What happened? Did he leave any note? Man, I remember watching him and wanting to be him. Wanting to live his life.
His life was just like mine.
Your battle is over.
I’m sorry Mental Illness took you but don’t worry, millions of people will look at your story and decide suicide is not for them.
Suicide is not for you. It’s not for anyone.
Until next time…RIP
I recently got back into magazines and got a subscription to People.
Every week in People there is a real story about a real tragedy that always involves Mental Illness.
Instead of talking about Mental Illness and signs to help loved ones (so you dont tragically end of like that) they talk about why you wear orange…for Gun violence.
Gun violence? This man was going through severe depression and shoots himself and you blame the gun? You said before that your dad bought the gun he was okay. (or was he?) Something happened to make him not okay
It wasn’t the gun. Gun violence is horrible though but it is it just the problem.
I think if we focus more on the root of the tree, we could get to why the branches we acting crazy..
I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.
His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”
WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?
My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.
Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….
A U T H O R I T Y.
Fuck that title.
Today I’m doing some major reflecting.
I really don’t feel like paying a person to talk to them about my past and see what the issues are, so I guess I’d rather do it myself.
For free. Badly.
I’ve been thinking about the times in the past that I have been happy. The 90s were an easier and happier time for me. Meeting my husband and moving out of my Nana House was happy. When I was doing magazine stuff and going out and talking to people made me happy.
I’m trying to understand my horrible depressed moody mind so I don’t fall in the same old trips.
I’m tired of this
My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.
Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.
Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.
I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.
This is my way to say: “yeah right”
Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.
I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.
I think this is what you call normal for me now.
I’m eating Salmon right now for breakfast and i love it on bagels and just on a fork..
Go eat some. If you don’t like fish or will die, don’t do it but now at least you have some brain knowledge for someone else. ✌🏿
People are so easy to share (with me, because my superpower is communication) that they were (KEYWORD!) on antidepressants but the got off of them.
I don’t know if I should complain that you told me and then quickly told me that you got off them OR be happy that you told me you were on antidepressants..
This all coming after I confessed that I’m feeling really depressed and that’s probably why I lost 30 pounds..
Does and has everyone taken antidepressants? And if so WHY ISN’T mental illnesses widely talked about and understand…ed?!
I’m not on antidepressants.
I should be.
I’m not on anything..(well)..but who am I to judge her anyway? Mental illness, whatever face and shape it takes, is real.
Maybe I’m just jealous she got OFF them when some people can never stop taking them, or can’t get them in he first place. ✌🏿
I have tried to write a freakin blog post for about two days and I haven’t been able to.
I don’t want to keep writing about how much this sucks and I don’t want to start something and stop again. Mental illness is such a hard topic to blog about because when you are smack dab in the middle of it yourself, it gets lost.
I brought back my site address www.bipolarunemployedlost.com because I know people suffering in the now are still finding this site. Whether if it started about me, things have changed.
I again, I feel like shit. My mind is running. I got too much energy and give it away too quickly, leaving me with nothing. I feel hard and emotionless.
im everywhere but nothing is moving
Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.
PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.
Why is it…every holiday…I go crazy? Just really insane?
I get really angry and shitty to my family. I withdrew from the world just to pop back into it tomorrow at work.
I am getting tired of exchanging my happiness for this stupid disease. This thing that had a hold on me since the beginning of this blog to now.
I thought I’ve moved on. I thought I could carry on with my life thinking it was just a sad phase. Now that there is a little me in the world and this thing keep popping it’s head up…I have to think that this is forever. Completely. 100%.
I’m tired and pissed that I am doing this again.