I know people with mental illness have to act like double agents everyday, but lately I have been feeling more and more unknown to myself.
everyday I wake up not knowing who I am and what I might do today. This morning, I woke up and decided that I didn’t want to go to work, so I smoked, call my job, and went back to bed. I woke up 3 hours later really kicking myself in the ass for not going.
What is going on with me? Sometimes I’m looking out through eyes that might not be mines.
Am I still going through a rebellious period? Do I have nothing to work and strive for?
Has anyone felt this way? Is it my addiction or my mental illness?
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
I had a period when I was in the Air Force where I kept sneaking out of swing shift to get wasted at karaoke. That sort of blew up in my face once somebody figured it out. So I’d go with more of mental illness, with a dash of addiction?
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Yup, been there.
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I can relate to that. Sometimes the shit just don’t work!
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