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Athletics and Mental Health

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Athletes are people too.

They are extreme mega people who do extreme mega things.

It’s hard to get with it all the time and preform at your best. It takes skill for the mind and sometimes that skill isn’t there.

There is no mental health program for major athletes because they expect them to be ON all the time. To be STRONG all the time.

If the Nike slogan say to JUST DO IT, what do you think they have to do.

People need to understand that we are people first. Whether we run fast or hit a ball, people are people.

Authority vs. Mental Illed Woman.

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I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.

His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”

🙄🤔

WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?

My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.

Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….

A U T H O R I T Y.

Don’t Look Back. You Should Never Look Back.

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Fuck that title.

Today I’m doing some major reflecting.

I really don’t feel like paying a person to talk to them about my past and see what the issues are, so I guess I’d rather do it myself.

For free. Badly.

I’ve been thinking about the times in the past that I have been happy. The 90s were an easier and happier time for me. Meeting my husband and moving out of my Nana House was happy. When I was doing magazine stuff and going out and talking to people made me happy.

I’m trying to understand my horrible depressed moody mind so I don’t fall in the same old trips.

I’m tired of this

No connection. Please wait..

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My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.

Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.

Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.

I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.

This is my way to say: “yeah right”

Ugh

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / 1 Comment

Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.

I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.

I think this is what you call normal for me now.

Antidepressants for ALL!

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / 1 Comment

People are so easy to share (with me, because my superpower is communication) that they were (KEYWORD!) on antidepressants but the got off of them.

I don’t know if I should complain that you told me and then quickly told me that you got off them OR be happy that you told me you were on antidepressants..

This all coming after I confessed that I’m feeling really depressed and that’s probably why I lost 30 pounds..

Does and has everyone taken antidepressants? And if so WHY ISN’T mental illnesses widely talked about and understand…ed?!

I’m not on antidepressants.

I should be.

I’m not on anything..(well)..but who am I to judge her anyway? Mental illness, whatever face and shape it takes, is real.

Maybe I’m just jealous she got OFF them when some people can never stop taking them, or can’t get them in he first place. ✌🏿

Now.

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / 2 Comments

I feel weirder than ever.

I’m tired but yet hype

I’m thinking about things that need to be done, then switching it, switching, forgetting about the it, coming back to it.

I’m feeling my weight loss and I feel like I’m feeling myself too much. Time to get out of control.

I’m doing things I should NOT be doing.

I’m just tired y’all.

A lot of periods no commas.

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / Leave a comment

Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.

PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.

Shit has HIT the fan. Again.

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Why is it…every holiday…I go crazy? Just really insane?

I get really angry and shitty to my family. I withdrew from the world just to pop back into it tomorrow at work.

I am getting tired of exchanging my happiness for this stupid disease. This thing that had a hold on me since the beginning of this blog to now.

Now.

I thought I’ve moved on. I thought I could carry on with my life thinking it was just a sad phase. Now that there is a little me in the world and this thing keep popping it’s head up…I have to think that this is forever. Completely. 100%.

I’m tired and pissed that I am doing this again.

The Habit of Work

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / 7 Comments

But before we really celebrate, I’ve played this game before and I know what happens next..

I’ll be a good employee for about a month, then I’ll start to hate waking up for work, then my mind will be on the side of quitting and then….unemployed again.

How can I make sure that this time will be different? How do you get into a habit of working?

 

If I can Learn To Do It! You Can Learn To Do It!

/ Bipolarunemployedlost / 2 Comments

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-29455207

GOOOO HONG KONG! Fight for your voice!

If they can learn to speak up for their voice, Mental Illness advocates and sufferers should too.

Spread the message today of hope.

Get out of the house, and help someone.

Blog your feelings, don’t let them inside.

Someone else might stumble across then.

Get Mentally involved in the News! Thinking about others and finding solutions is what we need. Not another black rain cloud

P.S.

I couldn’t help myself..