I loved this blog. This blog was me. Now I don’t know who I am. My mental is bad and I’m just not the person I use to be.
I don’t know if this blog ever helped you but if it did I’m glad.
Right now I could use a little help…
Stay strong my friends
help
Need some Addiction Help?
https://www.onlinetherapy.com/addiction-resources/
I got a great email from Grace over at Online Therapy who recommended a great start for people who need some addiction advice and where to start!
Click the link to check it out and make sure you check out OnlineTherapy.com
What’s your drug of choice?
Pills, Cannabis, TV?
What’s your choice of drug to help you through your bipolar mess?
I’m not going to lie. I USE cannabis. I remember a time when I would smoke and all the crazy emotions inside me would shut up. I would go into this weird zone where I would feel good and cloudy all at the same time.
Now. I USEA Cannabis but a used rug. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I have medication for my mind but why can’t I let this old friend go then?
I still love the way it gets me out of my mind, relaxes me, and gives me something to do but other than that it’s a stagnant bunch of crap.
What choices are you trying to get away from that popped up for you in the beginning of your journey?
What does your Bipolar feel like right now?
I’m running fast, you?
Have you taken a mental note on how you are feeling for real?
Are you angry? Sad? Jealous? Nervous? Why? For no reason? Yeah, I understand you.
This Bipolar thing is hard. Emotions pop up on you for nothing, making you feel shit, then spiraling your day into mess.
Advice?
Medicine m? A good doctor? Observation. I have NO IDEA! That is a journey for you friend but KNOW that whatever you are feeling right now will pass, like shit through the body. It will go and come like a river, just keep paddling bro.
I hope that helped.
Bipolar isnt the illness, people are..
I keep hearing “they are bipolar” or “if they get off their meds, because they are bipolar”.
Who says being bipolar is a PROBLEM. It’s an illness that can happen to anyone. It’s something millions of people deal with everyday.
To tell someone you have bipolar disorder is really hard and liberating. Once done, it can not be undone.
So why do people make bipolar patients feel like there is SOMETHING WRONG.
Shit…why did I feel like there was a time something was wrong?
That is because our world deems disorders as crazy. When you get a job, they want to know if you have a disorder so if you POP off, they a record of you being “crazy”
Doctors make notes just in case something happens they can go back and say “here in your notes…you were crazy”
Oh..what a world. What a word.
Ps. I’m back.
Another Solider: Anthony Bourdain
I am so so surprised.
What happened? Did he leave any note? Man, I remember watching him and wanting to be him. Wanting to live his life.
His life was just like mine.
Another Solider Lost: Kate Spade
Goodbye Kate.
Your battle is over.
I’m sorry Mental Illness took you but don’t worry, millions of people will look at your story and decide suicide is not for them.
Suicide is not for you. It’s not for anyone.
Until next time…RIP
Gun Violence: The New Mental Illness 🤔
I recently got back into magazines and got a subscription to People.
Every week in People there is a real story about a real tragedy that always involves Mental Illness.
Instead of talking about Mental Illness and signs to help loved ones (so you dont tragically end of like that) they talk about why you wear orange…for Gun violence.
Gun violence? This man was going through severe depression and shoots himself and you blame the gun? You said before that your dad bought the gun he was okay. (or was he?) Something happened to make him not okay
It wasn’t the gun. Gun violence is horrible though but it is it just the problem.
I think if we focus more on the root of the tree, we could get to why the branches we acting crazy..
Authority vs. Mental Illed Woman.
I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.
His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”
🙄🤔
WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?
My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.
Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….
A U T H O R I T Y.
2:06am
What are YOOUU doing up?
Me? Once I wake up for my son, I’m up for 2 hours. My mind is running about everything that has ever happened to me.
😞
Although I’ve always been a night owl. Nighttime is peaceful and quiet, but my life and priorities have changed. I’m the same mentally illed lady just world shift.
Any else trying to hold on to bad habits but know your lifestyle has changed. Congrats! I’m you…only more depressed.
2:16a
No connection. Please wait..
My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.
Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.
Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.
I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.
This is my way to say: “yeah right”
Ugh
Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.
I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.
I think this is what you call normal for me now.
Brain foods: Salmon
I’m eating Salmon right now for breakfast and i love it on bagels and just on a fork..
Go eat some. If you don’t like fish or will die, don’t do it but now at least you have some brain knowledge for someone else. ✌🏿
Antidepressants for ALL!
People are so easy to share (with me, because my superpower is communication) that they were (KEYWORD!) on antidepressants but the got off of them.
I don’t know if I should complain that you told me and then quickly told me that you got off them OR be happy that you told me you were on antidepressants..
This all coming after I confessed that I’m feeling really depressed and that’s probably why I lost 30 pounds..
Does and has everyone taken antidepressants? And if so WHY ISN’T mental illnesses widely talked about and understand…ed?!
I’m not on antidepressants.
I should be.
I’m not on anything..(well)..but who am I to judge her anyway? Mental illness, whatever face and shape it takes, is real.
Maybe I’m just jealous she got OFF them when some people can never stop taking them, or can’t get them in he first place. ✌🏿
Now.
I feel weirder than ever.
I’m tired but yet hype
I’m thinking about things that need to be done, then switching it, switching, forgetting about the it, coming back to it.
I’m feeling my weight loss and I feel like I’m feeling myself too much. Time to get out of control.
I’m doing things I should NOT be doing.
I’m just tired y’all.
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 