Can I please give a shout out to an app that has relaxed me. Its in the apple App Store, and it’s called TAKE A BREAK.
While listening to this app I’ve noticed that my stress is always in my head. It’s feels like horrible pressure. It goes down my back, into my legs and hands. While doing this app, I broke down and cried like a baby. I cried because I could feel the pressure and when it was gone I felt good.
I cried because I felt good.
I felt something I haven’t in a long time.
My mind also felt a little at ease, I mean, right now I can feel the stressed feeling entering my body, but the key thing is: I’m actually feeling it.
I have been stressed out so much, for so long, I don’t know what it feels like to be relaxed, to feel comfortable, to feel safe.
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This quote comes from the New England Journal Of Medicine -
“Using marijuana can certainly contribute to or worsen depression. Low motivation, fatigue, and withdrawal from positive activities are central features of depression and marijuana can worsen each of those problems. Some people do say that marijuana dulls anxiety or negative feelings. But it also dulls energy and motivation. And we know that activation and engagement are key parts of recovery from depression.
Marijuana can be even more troublesome for people—especially younger people below the age of 40 and above the age of 18—who live with bipolar disorder. In addition to worsening depression, marijuana can increase the likelihood of experiencing symptoms of psychosis—like hallucinations or paranoid ideas. In younger people who are at higher risk for bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, using marijuana increases the chances of developing a severe or disabling”
stole this from: http://theobsidiansinners.wordpress.com
what do you believe…?
I love this song. It helps me relax and want to take a long vacation, while the sun is shining on me in an old car I love.
I hope this song brings you down out of your cloud today…
Good luck my friends…
Lately, I have been feeling really mixed with taking meds or not taking meds.
I am FINALLY seeing a therapist, who is teaching me things to settle this anger inside of me and to help my brain stop thinking so much, but I don’t think it’s working, aka, mindfulness.
I don’t think it’s working because of my drug use. My brain, now, seems to be on auto pilot, so it seems that if I’m going to make this work, I have to quit smoking.
Actually, yesterday, I smoked and completely forgot a work meeting I was suppose to attend to. I had to lie to my boss because I am such a idiot.
I HAD TO LIE. Wow. I don’t know how many times I’ve lied to people because I was high, or to lazy to get up and go.
Right now I do to know who I am because of this cloud around me. Ugh. I know I keep posting about the same problem over and over, but it annoys me that I can’t get it together and get better. It’s like I like to stay this way forever, and that’s NOT the case.
The case is I’m bipolar, unemployed, and lost…still..
I am learning Mindfulness right now, and I have to keep this in mind.
If your upset, depressed, angry. WATCH THIS. Forget everything that’s swirling around in your head. Watch this. This song always gets me into a mood where I’m okay.
Seriously, just watch. You’ll be glad you did.
Happy thanksgiving to you!
I hope its filled with laughter, family, friends.
Remember to take a break to breathe. Get plenty of rest. Drink plenty of water.
Your family is there to help you, not hurt you.
I just learned that today. Thank you bay. I love you.
I woke up 2 hours ago, mad. Mad at my husband for turning on the heat in the middle of the night. I literally woke him out of sleep to yell at him. Now, I’m still so mad I can’t go back to sleep..
What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just let things go? My mind feel so tight right now, like I’m about to get a killer headache.
Why can’t I ever sleep through the night without waking up because I’m congested or mad?
Oh, I know why!
MENTAL FUCKING FUCK YOU ILLNESS!! AARRRRRRRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!