Hello, My name is Bruce Banner, a.k.a. the Hulk

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So I came to the conclusion while washing dishes that my anger might really be my repressed feelings at work and when I’m with friends and family.

I was thinking this because at work I am a star employee. Which really means I come to work, do my job, and go home. I don’t really talk much. I’m polite. I say M’ ma and Sir. I’m the opposite to who I am in my person life. My anger at home and inside can really be… my cover up EXPOSED.

Does this sound right? Did I just the red pill into the Matrix? I mean I feel okay about the red pill, it just I been on the blue one sooo long, it doesn’t seem real.

Are Bipolar people really who they are at work? Am I Dr Jekyll?

Why I won’t join Blog for Mental Health 2013. :(

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So something cool happened! I got invited by a fellow blogger RosieSmrtiePants http://rosiesmrtiepants.wordpress.com/ to join this great movement for mental health bloggers. They are taking a stand and being open about the awareness needed for mental health issues. I think this is amazing..

                                     did you here?..there’s a BUT in the room…

but..I can’t. I’m sorry. The truth is…I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! I can’t even tell all of my close family and friends that I have bipolar, how can I make a stand for mental health and be open when i’m not.

The stigma is too scary for me just yet. I don’t want to start something and then how to feel like I HAVE to open all doors.

Thank you Rosie for pledging me, but not yet…

If you want to join the clause, please click the picture above and PLEDGE!

 :(

Quote

the average pat…

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the average patient with bipolar disorder takes approximately 10 years to get a proper diagnosis. About 56 percent are first diagnosed with unipolar depression.

WHAT!?! are you kidding me? Your telling me I have 9 more years until I get this stupid thing in check? I don’t know why I posted this. This isn’t helpful for us is it? I mean, really 10 years? Are there really that bad of doctors out there? I’m so excited about this ride!! Get me of..

Link

Being Married to a Person with Depression or Bipolar: 6 Survival Tips By THERESE J. BORCHARD

Being Married to a Person with Depression or Bipolar: 6 Survival Tips By THERESE J. BORCHARD

This is great. I will have to put some of these into play when I get married in Sept. I tell you, it’s not easy living with this, and I KNOW it’s not easy for our loved ones. I hate being that person who is always feeling some sort of way every day, and I even hate it more for my fiance. I hope we can grow with this illness, together.

It’s Official: I’m crazy

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So my friend really didn’t diss me. It was my feelings that ran away with the wind…

AGH!! I hate when I can’t stop my mind from going into anger mode. I hate also that I think about things too much and blow shit out of proportions. I could of easily ruined my  long friendship because of my stupid MIND!

i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind. i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.i hate you mind.

What is wrong with me!!? Oh, right, I have bipolar disorder.

 

:(

I am SO ANGRY right now…

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I could KILL someone.

Why am I angry? A friend who moved out of the country, who is suppose to be in my wedding, has come back into the states since the 7th, has not called me AT ALL, and is suppose to be a bridesmaid in my wedding..

I found that she was in town, and my RAGE went off! I’m still sooo angry about everything in my life because of that. How do I stop this anger? I keep reading about triggers, but it seems like every time I get angry its about a different thing.

I went to a friend’s graduation party today, and these friends have always told me I have been angry. I didn’t even want to stay at the event. I sat there, anger and sad, not talking to anymore (which is so unlike me) and I felt like a fool.

I’m a fool who is anger, broke, unskilled, and lost.

At least I’m employed.

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