Last night we went over friends’ house, and well, I felt…kind of pressured.
I felt pressured because my friends are drinkers and smokers, and they don’t understand why I stopped. It got so bad that even my husband, who KNOWS why I had to quit, questioned me. They questioned if I was going to drink when one of my friend’s birthday party came up this month. I told them no. They seemed really let down, like I’m not fun without being F&^ked up. My husband then said I could drink wine..
Now..I know that our friendship in the beginning was based on the fact that I partied with them, but things changed. I’ve changed. It sucks to think that my friends don’t see why its not good to always get high or drink. It sucks to think my husband switches up when he goes over there with them. We were suppose to be doing this together, a sort of check and balances thing, you know…
I love my friends and will always try to connect with them on whatever level I can, but now that I’m straight-edge and don’t do those things anymore, its lonely. I want to be healthier, happier, mental stable, and I can not do that on drugs and alcohol. Shit, one beer on these meds make me have the biggest headache that lasts for TWO DAYS.
I don’t want to lose my friends, but I don’t know how to make them see..
ALSO, I don’t want to make them feel like I’m judging them for doing those things.
.but I kind of am. Is that wrong? Yes, yes it is, but how can I help it when one of them told me they were going to quit, and the other is my husband who conked out on me..
I don’t have a good support team in my life outside of the blogging world, and you know what..I’m okay with that. Not everyone needs to support me other than myself.