Authority vs. Mental Illed Woman.

I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.

His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”

🙄🤔

WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?

My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.

Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….

A U T H O R I T Y.

Kanye West, Welcome to the Club.

Hello Kayne.

Everyone here has been waiting for you. It’s cool. No judgment. The only thing we require is for you to be open, proactive, and try to get help. I’m not the right person to tell you that though, but it helps. 

Anyways, thank you and welcome abroad. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach out to any one of us. There are about, umm, I don’t know, billions. ✌🏿

OhTemp

Kanye West dropped his new album “Ye” on Friday. In it, he says he has bipolar disorder and calls the mental illness his “superpower.” The controversial statement follows several months of recent controversy on Twitter in which the artist proclaimed his support for President Trump, opined that “love is infinite,” and alleged that slavery was […]

via Kanye West says he’s bipolar on his new album — here’s what that really means — Headlines

No connection. Please wait..

My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.

Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.

Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.

I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.

This is my way to say: “yeah right”

Ugh

Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.

I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.

I think this is what you call normal for me now.

A lot of periods no commas.

Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.

PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.

Shit has HIT the fan. Again.

Why is it…every holiday…I go crazy? Just really insane?

I get really angry and shitty to my family. I withdrew from the world just to pop back into it tomorrow at work.

I am getting tired of exchanging my happiness for this stupid disease. This thing that had a hold on me since the beginning of this blog to now.

Now.

I thought I’ve moved on. I thought I could carry on with my life thinking it was just a sad phase. Now that there is a little me in the world and this thing keep popping it’s head up…I have to think that this is forever. Completely. 100%.

I’m tired and pissed that I am doing this again.

I am strong, I am invincible, I am Woman!

So lately I am having an inner battle with being a woman. I don’t know what it is but my mind and body are not together, and its making me feel like I am ripping apart at the seams.

One part of me wants to be this bad ass betty: sexy, siren, confident

The other part of me doesn’t even want to have to do with any of it. I don’t want to wear make up, show off my body..

I am really battling with this person inside me and I don’t know where to start