Athletics and Mental Health

Athletes are people too.

They are extreme mega people who do extreme mega things.

It’s hard to get with it all the time and preform at your best. It takes skill for the mind and sometimes that skill isn’t there.

There is no mental health program for major athletes because they expect them to be ON all the time. To be STRONG all the time.

If the Nike slogan say to JUST DO IT, what do you think they have to do.

People need to understand that we are people first. Whether we run fast or hit a ball, people are people.

What’s your drug of choice?

Pills, Cannabis, TV?

What’s your choice of drug to help you through your bipolar mess?

I’m not going to lie. I USE cannabis. I remember a time when I would smoke and all the crazy emotions inside me would shut up. I would go into this weird zone where I would feel good and cloudy all at the same time.

Now. I USEA Cannabis but a used rug. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I have medication for my mind but why can’t I let this old friend go then?

I still love the way it gets me out of my mind, relaxes me, and gives me something to do but other than that it’s a stagnant bunch of crap.

What choices are you trying to get away from that popped up for you in the beginning of your journey?

Bipolar Tunes

Sometimes SHIT comes around

And it knocks you down

Just get BACK UP

When it knocks you down

I know this isn’t a mental illness song but it’s lyrics can definitely used in how we feel about stuff. Love feels the same as pain, shame, hate, anger. It’s all feelings and they all knock us damn down sometimes.

Get back up.

What does your Bipolar feel like right now?

I’m running fast, you?

Have you taken a mental note on how you are feeling for real?

Are you angry? Sad? Jealous? Nervous? Why? For no reason? Yeah, I understand you.

This Bipolar thing is hard. Emotions pop up on you for nothing, making you feel shit, then spiraling your day into mess.

Advice?

Medicine m? A good doctor? Observation. I have NO IDEA! That is a journey for you friend but KNOW that whatever you are feeling right now will pass, like shit through the body. It will go and come like a river, just keep paddling bro.

I hope that helped.

Bipolar isnt the illness, people are..

I keep hearing “they are bipolar” or “if they get off their meds, because they are bipolar”.

Who says being bipolar is a PROBLEM. It’s an illness that can happen to anyone. It’s something millions of people deal with everyday.

To tell someone you have bipolar disorder is really hard and liberating. Once done, it can not be undone.

So why do people make bipolar patients feel like there is SOMETHING WRONG.

Shit…why did I feel like there was a time something was wrong?

That is because our world deems disorders as crazy. When you get a job, they want to know if you have a disorder so if you POP off, they a record of you being “crazy”

Doctors make notes just in case something happens they can go back and say “here in your notes…you were crazy”

Oh..what a world. What a word.

Ps. I’m back.

Gun Violence: The New Mental Illness 🤔

I recently got back into magazines and got a subscription to People.

Every week in People there is a real story about a real tragedy that always involves Mental Illness.

Instead of talking about Mental Illness and signs to help loved ones (so you dont tragically end of like that) they talk about why you wear orange…for Gun violence.

Gun violence? This man was going through severe depression and shoots himself and you blame the gun? You said before that your dad bought the gun he was okay. (or was he?) Something happened to make him not okay

It wasn’t the gun. Gun violence is horrible though but it is it just the problem.

I think if we focus more on the root of the tree, we could get to why the branches we acting crazy..

Authority vs. Mental Illed Woman.

I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.

His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”

🙄🤔

WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?

My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.

Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….

A U T H O R I T Y.

Don’t Look Back. You Should Never Look Back.

Fuck that title.

Today I’m doing some major reflecting.

I really don’t feel like paying a person to talk to them about my past and see what the issues are, so I guess I’d rather do it myself.

For free. Badly.

I’ve been thinking about the times in the past that I have been happy. The 90s were an easier and happier time for me. Meeting my husband and moving out of my Nana House was happy. When I was doing magazine stuff and going out and talking to people made me happy.

I’m trying to understand my horrible depressed moody mind so I don’t fall in the same old trips.

I’m tired of this

2:06am

What are YOOUU doing up?

Me? Once I wake up for my son, I’m up for 2 hours. My mind is running about everything that has ever happened to me.

😞

Although I’ve always been a night owl. Nighttime is peaceful and quiet, but my life and priorities have changed. I’m the same mentally illed lady just world shift.

Any else trying to hold on to bad habits but know your lifestyle has changed. Congrats! I’m you…only more depressed.

2:16a

No connection. Please wait..

My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.

Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.

Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.

I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.

This is my way to say: “yeah right”

Ugh

Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.

I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.

I think this is what you call normal for me now.