Another Solider Lost: Kate Spade

Goodbye Kate.

Your battle is over.

I’m sorry Mental Illness took you but don’t worry, millions of people will look at your story and decide suicide is not for them.

Suicide is not for you. It’s not for anyone.

Until next time…RIP

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/kate-spade-suicide-andy-spade-statement-after-designers-death-today-2018-06-06/

Gun Violence: The New Mental Illness 🤔

I recently got back into magazines and got a subscription to People.

Every week in People there is a real story about a real tragedy that always involves Mental Illness.

Instead of talking about Mental Illness and signs to help loved ones (so you dont tragically end of like that) they talk about why you wear orange…for Gun violence.

Gun violence? This man was going through severe depression and shoots himself and you blame the gun? You said before that your dad bought the gun he was okay. (or was he?) Something happened to make him not okay

It wasn’t the gun. Gun violence is horrible though but it is it just the problem.

I think if we focus more on the root of the tree, we could get to why the branches we acting crazy..

Authority vs. Mental Illed Woman.

I just shared with my boss that I’m kind of feeling salty about going down to part time. The reason I had to was because of horrible family issues.

His response was.. “well just do what I tell you and you’ll be fine”

🙄🤔

WHAT!? Do what you tell me to do? Is This isn’t a hierarchy. Is This is the ThunderDome? When was the time I did everything you tell me to and I felt fine about it?

My mental illness makes me hold on to everything and THAT was definitely something you shouldn’t have said.

Now.. I’ll probably do something shitty and regret it later but at least I know what a trigger is for me….

A U T H O R I T Y.

Don’t Look Back. You Should Never Look Back.

Fuck that title.

Today I’m doing some major reflecting.

I really don’t feel like paying a person to talk to them about my past and see what the issues are, so I guess I’d rather do it myself.

For free. Badly.

I’ve been thinking about the times in the past that I have been happy. The 90s were an easier and happier time for me. Meeting my husband and moving out of my Nana House was happy. When I was doing magazine stuff and going out and talking to people made me happy.

I’m trying to understand my horrible depressed moody mind so I don’t fall in the same old trips.

I’m tired of this

No connection. Please wait..

My husband recently told me that he hasn’t been feeling like we’ve been connecting.

Yup. I told him I believe it. I don’t feel connected to anything lately. My whole life right now feels like I could give a damn.

Every chance I get I try to take a breather outside the house because I feel overwhelmed all the time, by everything.

I told him it’s my mental illness and that help is on the way but until then I’ll try to make more of an effort.

This is my way to say: “yeah right”

Oh geez, is that a rant?

I have tried to write a freakin blog post for about two days and I haven’t been able to.

I don’t want to keep writing about how much this sucks and I don’t want to start something and stop again. Mental illness is such a hard topic to blog about because when you are smack dab in the middle of it yourself, it gets lost.

I brought back my site address www.bipolarunemployedlost.com because I know people suffering in the now are still finding this site. Whether if it started about me, things have changed.

I again, I feel like shit. My mind is running. I got too much energy and give it away too quickly, leaving me with nothing. I feel hard and emotionless.

im everywhere but nothing is moving

A lot of periods no commas.

Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.

PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.

LINK: Lawyer: Vallejo kidnapping suspect Matthew Muller suffers from bipolar disorder

http://kron4.com/2015/07/17/lawyer-vallejo-kidnapping-suspect-matthew-muller-suffers-from-bipolar-disorder/
So if you have a mental illness, go out and kill someone, your lawyer will use that in your defense!

Come on!!

This is why mental illness is such a horrible thing in the eyes of the world. People shouldn’t use that as a defense and if it true and that’s why you killed people…then you don’t need a lawyer, you need help.

Good old fashion H E L P

Good luck, solider l!

CBT Workbook

I have been experiencing bipolar disorder very very much lately. I know I have, I’ve been tracking my moods for a month and I am in the middle of another wave. So I have been preparing for it and looking up therapy I can do on my own.

I printed out the NHS Foundation Trust’s CBT Skills Workbook and have been working through it.

Click to access cbt-workshop-booklet_web.pdf

CBT is a form of therapy that works on your thoughts and how they effect your feelings which affects your life. Learn more about CBT from NAMI’s site

http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Treatments_and_Supports/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy1.htm

It’s okay and I like it. I hope it helps me. I hope it helps you.

If I can Learn To Do It! You Can Learn To Do It!

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-29455207

GOOOO HONG KONG! Fight for your voice!

If they can learn to speak up for their voice, Mental Illness advocates and sufferers should too.

Spread the message today of hope.

Get out of the house, and help someone.

Blog your feelings, don’t let them inside.

Someone else might stumble across then.

Get Mentally involved in the News! Thinking about others and finding solutions is what we need. Not another black rain cloud

P.S.

I couldn’t help myself..

Anderson takes part in an experiment to help understand how people live with mental illness

Anderson takes part in an experiment to help understand how people live with mental illness

So glad that people in the public are trying to help out mental illness patients, but I think we may need someone who has a little more IT factor for it to be listened to…

How about Oprah?
Lebron James?
JESUS?

Thanks Anderson for bringing more light on such a dark subject!