Bipolar,Unemployed & Lost

what a blog.

what a cool tool for myself and people out there to read and relate. I still get emails asking me to help spread the word and bring people to resources and help and hope.

ugh.

where did the time go?

I don’t want to let anyone down but would I be right to say I don’t have the time to continue this blog? Would I be wrong to say I can’t?

 

so

i told my son tonight that i wont be like my mother. i wont tell him im going to stop and not stop. drug aren’t good for me. not good for my son…

no hard drugs – pleeaassseee but marijuana. im still using this drug mindlessly becsuse i think i need it. i dont need it anymore. i dont need my mind to float i need it to stay and look at my son.

look at my life.

i have been feeling really powerless lately. been crying and laughing really weirdly.

how did i end up exactly at the same spot i was?

because i never really did shit.

 

hello again. my name is OHTEMP, and this is Bipolar, Employed & STILL LOST.

Hello..is it me your looking for??

Yes world. I am still here. Still kicking. Still depressed. Still pregnant. Still all of the above.

Difference is I’m mending better because I have a really good therapist that I like and I moving my job to night shifts.

This pregnancy has me down a lot maybe because of all the extra hormones I’m feeling but I’m just not that happy about it.

Nothing has changed and everything is still the same. I haven’t been writing because I just haven’t felt the need to write anything anymore. Also some jerk face book my URL so it really sucks to write something when your website has been stolen. 

I’m really trying to be more proficient in all areas of my life but I feel just the same. 

I move my job tonight shifts because I really started hating the customers that came into the job in the morning. I can’t handle mornings anyway so having this baby inside me, getting up early, having to deal with people in their stupid drinks, really set me off. I know it’s horrible because these people are just going about their day normally but for me it is such a  pain in the ass hole. 

Maybe one day I’ll be better at customer service, maybe not, but until then I have to slow down and figure out what the hell is going on with me for real. 

I hope you are doing well and no one is hurt themselves or made themselves feel down more than usual. I hope I can reconnect with the word press world and just become a better person because of it.