CBT Workbook

I have been experiencing bipolar disorder very very much lately. I know I have, I’ve been tracking my moods for a month and I am in the middle of another wave. So I have been preparing for it and looking up therapy I can do on my own.

I printed out the NHS Foundation Trust’s CBT Skills Workbook and have been working through it.

Click to access cbt-workshop-booklet_web.pdf

CBT is a form of therapy that works on your thoughts and how they effect your feelings which affects your life. Learn more about CBT from NAMI’s site

http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Treatments_and_Supports/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy1.htm

It’s okay and I like it. I hope it helps me. I hope it helps you.

You’re Just Like Me: Hypomanicmama

So you have a mental illness.. Which
Bipolar II

When were you diagnosis & how old were you?

I was diagnosed when I was 18 years old when I was a freshman in college. It was the start of many years of out of control reckless behavior.

How do you cope with your mental illness?

TAKE MY MEDS! I’m currently on Lithium, Risperedone, Latuda, Lamictal, Zoloft and Klonopin. I don’t go anywhere without my Klonopin because once I get hit with that butterfly feeling in my stomach, I know whats coming and I need to get a handle on it before it spirals out of control.

I also see my therapist 2x a week and Medication Management biweekly.

My family doesn’t understand my disorder and think I can just grow up and snap out of it so they choose to ignore it. My husband is the only person who I have to lean on which doesn’t always help me because he himself has OCD and Major Depressive Disorder.

Lots of personal pep talks to myself to get through the day.

What are 3 words that you would describe how your illness makes you feel?

irratic, angry, exhausted

What are some ways you relax from your illness?

I remove myself from everyone. I refinish furniture for fun so I will try and get into a project but it doesn’t always work. I’ve spent many hours sitting on the steps to my shop and just staring out into nothing. Everything is silent and it feels great for my brain.

What is some advice you would give to your fellow soldiers fighting this fight?

Find support. Personally, I do not like groups. I am uncomfortable around a group of strangers that I have to talk to let alone divulge intimate information about myself. With a family that isn’t really supportive of what I am going through, I lean on my husband a lot and have one friend that I will text when I’m feeling like the poo will be hitting the fan. Sometimes, no matter how crazy your mind is going, its good to just verbalize it and get it out. Almost like letting the air out of a balloon. If you think you can keep everything in and be ok, you are wrong and something, usually a little thing will make everything fall apart.

Do you have any books, websites, writers, shows, music, etc that has helped you cope that you like to share?

There is a podcast by Stuff you should know on Bipolar disorder. It was one of the best explanations of how I feel and what I go through that I have ever heard. It was matter of fact and very objective. I send the podcast link to friends or family that are trying to understand whats going on in my life.

Tell us your blog or how we can keep in contact with you?

hypomanicmama.wordpress.com

BAD just keeps coming..

Right now I feel like I am going to explode.

I hate my family so much right now. First its my mom calling me saying that she is going to take me to court, then its my cousin who is mad at me for telling her boyfriend why she went to jail.

If its not one thing, its another.

Tomorrow I will be out of town for about 5 days, and I hope this time I will use to relax and not stress about anything. I hope to come back refreshed.

I just don’t understand why these last two weeks have been a living hell for me – from other people. I will say that what goes around, comes around, and I am finally getting what coming to me. I haven’t been the best person in the last year and I knew that all good things don’t last…although it seems like all bad things stay forever.

I hope this trail of bad luck isn’t keeping up with me. I need it to go away, so I can finally do stuff for me. To help me take off and land. To be free of this place, and the people around me. I want to start off fresh..

but even freshness doesn’t last.

 

I’m scared also because I have been putting the most of my emotions on the back burner. Not really dealing with them at all. Will that be bad for my BP? Am I soon to explode? I just don’t know if crying or getting angry will help me do anything. A release for me will probably have me crying for days..

I’m all cried out.