my holiday was bad. really bad.
my family made me feel like shit this Christmas, in turn, making me feel like shit the whole weekend. I spent my weekend locked up in my house, on the couch, alone. I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, hang out, nothing..
i feel bad because i feel like i ruined Christmas but the people around me didn’t care about my feelings at all so my holiday was ruined.
ugh to the people around me.
ugh to the holidays.
ugh to myself for not getting up and leaving this place when i could.
There have been so many times when I sat down to write and I deleted everything and left. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but I have not wanted to do anything I use to do.
This doesn’t mean I am giving up on my blog, it just mean that I have to find something in my life that I simply love doing – other than writing.
I feel like I am lacking a lot and I’m trying to make up for it by doing different things. My mood is still killing most of what I am doing, but I am making simple changes to my life that hopefully will help my mental illness.
I hope everyone is okay this holiday season and I hope your not too down. Please take care of yourselves!
Drunk posts are fun. They remind you that what you did the pervious day was adolescent and risky, and made you feel okay. Some don’t, but this one is.
(Remember, your body is getting old and can’t handle the same it did when you were 18. Remember you have a mental illness that effected by drinking. You can’t and shouldn’t be drinking heavily, dancing until dawn, laughing about silly sayings, and loving the moment.)Even though, these moments are so few and far between…(don’t.)
(To live healthy is to live smart.)
To live is…to live. I hate the voice inside me.