Left Brain vs. Right Brain: Let’s Get Ready to RUMMBBLLEE!

Are you left brained or right? Well if you don’t know find out HERE. For me, I use both sides of my brain equally. I googled left or right brained tests and every one I finished said that I use both sides equally, which surprised me because I KNOW I’m not left brained. I’m also not that right brained either…

The brain is a deep deep place. Enjoy the test, the photos, and YOUR BRAIN!!

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The Roses of Success – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

GROW ROSES OF SUCCESS!

Yes, yes, it’s a musical movie, but if you never seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (SHAME!) no need! The only song you need to remember is this one. It talks about how from the ashes of disaster comes the roses of success. It a feel good song about something we all need to remember..

once you fall down, you pick yourself back up.

You never know when success might happen.

Goodtimes

Finally I feel good.

But watch out. This is only a mirage. A show. An act. I am an Leo, acting is in the blood. I’m always weary when I wake up feeling good because that means that today can go two ways:

1. I feel good, then something turns me around and I become RAMBO, again..

2. I can feel good. Daydream about unrealistic things all day, and think I can do it all. Start about 50 projects that I will never finish, and not care because on having a good day!!

Days like this I want drive away. I want to move and go when I feel like this. This energy that I have balled up makes me feel invincible and motivated. Is this the time to take ACTION?, or do I know the patterns? What comes next is pain, sadness, and depression.

One thing that contributioning to my happiness today is that I got a call from an employer that I really want, and they are calling for interviews next week! Woo hoo! There is money and opportunities I the air! I want to run with these colors of these winds. I want to fly into this new opportunity.

Mania, calm down, but I can’t, I must do more.

Fight or flight, people.

Posted from a woman on the go

There’s a lot of I’s in disappointment..

I’m getting angry.

I can feel myself start to lose it inside. That means the next person that talks to me will probably get RAMBO-ed! Slicing and dicing their HEADS off. For what? Why am I so angry right now? Because, I can’t predict what’s coming at me next. Silly, I know, but I can’t help getting angry at things that I thought were going to work out.

Example. Today I received a call from an employer, who wanted to discuss a position and my qualifications. I listened to the voice mail, and got up with a little hop in my step. I was stoked that a job called and wanted to know more about me. In my mind, this time next week, I would be settling into a new awesome job, making money for things to come, making new work friends, the whole nine.

Not. They told me a little about the position, and it was identical to the same position that I quit. Something I can’t do…something I don’t want to do. Right after that, a friend who was suppose be coming and picking me up to a lunch/hang out date, ditched me for another friend. Sacre Bleu!

Does this sound like pre-school kid problems? “My friend didn’t pick me up – I don’t like her no more” or “The job wasn’t for me – Now i’m going to cry”.  They probably are but for me, these are things I let ruin my day even before it started.

My BP mind doesn’t seem to let things go, but BLOW them out of proportions  Those things could be ant-holes, but I let them grow into MOUNDS. I just don’t like to be let down. I don’t want my ideas to get blown up and dragged through the mud. 

Right now, I’m sitting here watching the President’s Inauguration lunch (which makes me ask: why are they filming this lunch live?) and wondering, how many of these people have gone through upsets, but keep the ball rolling? How do great people survive disappointment? Failure? Bombs?..well not bombs…

To the BP, failure and disappointment are all the same. Does your BP do this?

I have an idea for my idea

I can do it! I can do that too! That too!

That what I say to myself whenever a really cool idea comes into my head.

Oh! You haven’t heard? I’m the master of ideas. I’m the David Blaine of world changing scenarios, I’m the Ali of pretend! I feel like I can’t write them down fast enough, they are so good. But, the craziest thing is once I say them to someone out-loud, they seem like a joke.

I have always been kind of a deep thinker, since my mind always on the go, I can remember from a early age staying up at night, just thinking about movie endings, what I would do if this.., and what happened at school last week, and I think I left my book bag.., and when the summers comes im going.. and…and..

How do I deal with it? I indulge.

If an idea pops into my head that I think is cool, but may be too crazy to tell, I google it and see how many people in the world have thought of my idea. This means I’m not giving up on it, but I’m doing the first thing any inventor/business person would do – research. Sometimes though, my ideas are pretty awesome, and should be followed thru, but my mind hates finishing anything.

In reality, I’m probably a commitment-phobe. (Did I tell you I’m getting married..) Is anyone out there like me? Can you commit?

Don’t panic, I’m just MANIC

““A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men” – Willy Wonka (1971)

What does it mean to be in a ‘Mania’ phase? (prepare for a something long..)

According to WedMd:

“If you have three or more of the mania symptoms below most of the day — nearly every day — for one week or longer, you may be having a manic episode of bipolar disorder:

  • Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
  • Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile
  • Restlessness, increased energy, and less need for sleep
  • Rapid talk, talkativeness
  • Distractibility
  • Racing thoughts
  • High sex drive
  • Tendency to make grand and unattainable plans
  • Tendency to show poor judgment, such as impulsively deciding to quit a job
  • Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity — unrealistic beliefs in one’s ability, intelligence, and powers; may be delusional
  • Increased reckless behaviors (such as lavish spending sprees, impulsive sexual indiscretions, abuse of alcohol or drugs, or ill-advised business decisions)”

BOO-YAH! I drop some knowledge on you! Harvarrrdd!

I ask you, where’s the bad at? Where is the part where I go ‘oh no! please not the mania phase! Anything but that!!’, but I guess the bad thing about it is, this side doesn’t last, and soon will come dark times. Its not like I can perform super forever.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know what my Mania phase is. I’m always angry, moody, irritated  distracted, make awesome GRAND plans, mood swings, and restless thoughts.

What is that called WedMd, huh?, Mister-BIG-site?!? who do you think you are…

When I feel like this, I feel invincible. That I can do whatever I want, when ever I want, but I think I’m not only bringing myself into this Mania fog, I’m bringing my fiance. He’s the kind of person to go along with me, to make me feel like what I’m doing is right. God bless him, but I need to get a hold of this, so we’re both stable.

Now, that I have finally been given a face to a demon that probably been with me for a long time, how do I handle it? How can I get through this phase when I know dumps-ville is right around the corner. It’s genetic right? Or is my mind making this all up?

Well…CHEERS! here’s to MANIA, and all its ugly faces.

At least I’ll get shit done.

Want to read up on Mania, visit the WedMd page, but remember that isn’t a doctor. Visit your local therapist for more info. http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/hypomania-mania-symptoms

Wakey, wakey, you bipolar mess, you

Waking up to a new day is boring.

Glad that I’m alive, but also resentful that I am. Its sad when you can’t seem to find a thing to open your eyes for anymore.

‘you have all these great things around you! A wonderful fiance, a great home, love..’

Bah HUM BUG sucka! It doesn’t mean anything to me.

Even while typing that I know that’s wrong, but I cant shake the feeling of bland, dull, and lifeless. I’m not waking up for me anymore, but really for my close family and friends. I mean they wouldn’t want to come to my funeral. I wouldn’t…

So what will I do? Well I’ll walk around the house a little, clean up, look online for responses to my applications, get mad that no one has responded to an able-body, degree-holding, skilled woman, turn on Skyrim, then go out with my resume to get denied because my little town isn’t hiring for anyone.

Not even the strip clubs.. Hm!

Positive thinking will help right? WRONG! I couldn’t positively get myself into a job right now if I tried, but that’s what I’m going to do….try. If you thought I was going to say think be positive, your wrong. That’s for dummies with alternative life blogs.

I’m no dummy.

Posted from a woman on the go