Touching Me, Touching You—at Work

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052970203937504574252261140036116

Loved this article about co-workers and is it okay to be a “toucher”

I’ll admit…I’m a toucher. I’ve never gotten anyone to give me bad looks or say not to, ever.Where I work high fives are common and okay!

I would hate to be at a stiff place, where no one is comforting. I already have a mental illness!

🙂

Sex, if you’re there, say something!!!

I am going through something that has been bothering me for a looooonnnnggggg time.

Sex.

I am having so much trouble feeling sexually toward myself or my husband that I blame him for my problems. Last night we got into a fight because he told me that I never do anything sexually, and if I’m trying to change, then I have todo something…

Right now, I think sex is UGH UGH UGHHH! I don’t want anyone touching me, I don’t want to look at porn, anything sexually I don’t want it….right now.

I know stress and mental illness have me, but how can I at least feel something again. This is really stressing me out. I’m completely in a hole…

How do you overcome the mind to have sex???.?..

Or is that what this is?

I feel really guilty, but someone is blocking me so hard to actually do something about it. I don’t want to be in a stand still anymore. I hate this.

Its Beginning to Look A lot Like Anger

I have a problem. Anger. Anger steeps into me and fills me up into every little thing bothers me. I have to take a minute to myself to actually get right.

Is this normal? Does this happen to everyone?

When I get out of it, I feel bad for having to take that time for myself?

Why! I’m not this person…or am I? Should I just come clean to myself that I am an angry woman that needs frequent breaks from situations?

Or am I a caged bird. Still singing but so sad.

Unemployed, Lost & kind of loving it…

You can not understand how many times I have been unemployed, lost, and feeling like do do…

But not this time. I quit my job because I wasn’t going to work for a manager that talks shit behind my back. I’m bipolar, she just didn’t know…

Also, I hated HATED going into that job everyday. It was torturous to get up and pretend. I’m not a good pretender so it made my life really hard. Sometimes you have to worry about things like jobs, money, advancement, but for me right now it couldn’t be farther from my mind.

Right now I’m focusing on me and what the hell I want to do. My bipolar limits me to work at a conventionally setting without wanting to kill my coworkers and myself for longer than 4 months, so I have to find so,etching that is going to go along with my mind….

And the ride.

In other words, I’m okay and I’ll be okay.

How are you?

P.s. Thanks for all the Greta comments you are leaving me. Since I have no job please watch out for some crazy post… Literally.

D-E-N-I-A-L, you ain’t got no alibi, you ugly!

Now that this is REAL, isn’t BP everyone?

I’ve been having doubts. Definite doubts about “this thing” I have. I know I can’t go back from why I’ve started this blog, but…

but…

Doesnt’ everyone have this? Being angry and depressed in one day. Days where they feel good and abundant with energy. Periods of aggravation  anger, and head-turning. I don’t want to put myself in a box. Can I call it a box? Why are there so many questions that I cant answer? Lately, I’ve been feeling like my mind is so cluttered that I can’t put it down into words, and the first thing I want to write about is denial. Because that is what this is. Denial.

Ugh, what am I even saying?

This is tough… 😦