Ugh

Today I am feeling really shitty because of some family issues I just found out.

I’m moody, a bitch, and tired all day long.

I think this is what you call normal for me now.

Antidepressants for ALL!

People are so easy to share (with me, because my superpower is communication) that they were (KEYWORD!) on antidepressants but the got off of them.

I don’t know if I should complain that you told me and then quickly told me that you got off them OR be happy that you told me you were on antidepressants..

This all coming after I confessed that I’m feeling really depressed and that’s probably why I lost 30 pounds..

Does and has everyone taken antidepressants? And if so WHY ISN’T mental illnesses widely talked about and understand…ed?!

I’m not on antidepressants.

I should be.

I’m not on anything..(well)..but who am I to judge her anyway? Mental illness, whatever face and shape it takes, is real.

Maybe I’m just jealous she got OFF them when some people can never stop taking them, or can’t get them in he first place. ✌🏿

Oh geez, is that a rant?

I have tried to write a freakin blog post for about two days and I haven’t been able to.

I don’t want to keep writing about how much this sucks and I don’t want to start something and stop again. Mental illness is such a hard topic to blog about because when you are smack dab in the middle of it yourself, it gets lost.

I brought back my site address www.bipolarunemployedlost.com because I know people suffering in the now are still finding this site. Whether if it started about me, things have changed.

I again, I feel like shit. My mind is running. I got too much energy and give it away too quickly, leaving me with nothing. I feel hard and emotionless.

im everywhere but nothing is moving

Now.

I feel weirder than ever.

I’m tired but yet hype

I’m thinking about things that need to be done, then switching it, switching, forgetting about the it, coming back to it.

I’m feeling my weight loss and I feel like I’m feeling myself too much. Time to get out of control.

I’m doing things I should NOT be doing.

I’m just tired y’all.

A lot of periods no commas.

Here I am again. Here I am again. Writing on the stupid blog because my fucking brain doesn’t want to cooperate anymore. This is stupid. And everywhere I freaking look there wants to be someone who has killed themselves over mental illness. That has stabbed their children. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if the universe is telling me to go stab my child and husband. Or I kill myself. I know it’s not saying that. But what the fuck. I am going crazy and I don’t know how to stop this roller coaster.

PS. I’m not gonna kill my husband child but God dammit.

Shit has HIT the fan. Again.

Why is it…every holiday…I go crazy? Just really insane?

I get really angry and shitty to my family. I withdrew from the world just to pop back into it tomorrow at work.

I am getting tired of exchanging my happiness for this stupid disease. This thing that had a hold on me since the beginning of this blog to now.

Now.

I thought I’ve moved on. I thought I could carry on with my life thinking it was just a sad phase. Now that there is a little me in the world and this thing keep popping it’s head up…I have to think that this is forever. Completely. 100%.

I’m tired and pissed that I am doing this again.

Bipolar,Unemployed & Lost

what a blog.

what a cool tool for myself and people out there to read and relate. I still get emails asking me to help spread the word and bring people to resources and help and hope.

ugh.

where did the time go?

I don’t want to let anyone down but would I be right to say I don’t have the time to continue this blog? Would I be wrong to say I can’t?

 

What Medication??

so I totally forgot to take my mess for about 3 days!

I’m in New York doing an internship and there was just a slip of my mind. No it doesn’t have anything to do with not wanting to take it anymore, I seriously forgot.

I couldn’t sleep, I was feeling good but tired, a little little edgy, and it was because I totally forgot.

New York is great! I’m running around like a New Yorker, doing shows, learning, feeling like I’m actually helping out my boss, so I feel good!! She is super great but a little stand off ish. I think that just may be her way of dealing with assistants, but I’m trying to change that.

Anyways I got a great You’re Just Like Me coming next week and hopefully more updates on the blog.

But enough about me..

Hey YOU! You doing okay??

LINK: Lawyer: Vallejo kidnapping suspect Matthew Muller suffers from bipolar disorder

http://kron4.com/2015/07/17/lawyer-vallejo-kidnapping-suspect-matthew-muller-suffers-from-bipolar-disorder/
So if you have a mental illness, go out and kill someone, your lawyer will use that in your defense!

Come on!!

This is why mental illness is such a horrible thing in the eyes of the world. People shouldn’t use that as a defense and if it true and that’s why you killed people…then you don’t need a lawyer, you need help.

Good old fashion H E L P

Good luck, solider l!