Starting A Dream

Starting nail school tonight and I am so excited! I’m  excited to finally be doing something that I am excited to do, and something for myself.

You don’t know this about me, but I love nails! I love everything about it and I have been thinking about getting my license for a long time. Now I finally am doing it and I feel really happy about it.

I’ve finally found something that I love and hopefully will love me back.

Just a good day 🙂

…and I never have those!

LINK: Lawyer: Vallejo kidnapping suspect Matthew Muller suffers from bipolar disorder

http://kron4.com/2015/07/17/lawyer-vallejo-kidnapping-suspect-matthew-muller-suffers-from-bipolar-disorder/
So if you have a mental illness, go out and kill someone, your lawyer will use that in your defense!

Come on!!

This is why mental illness is such a horrible thing in the eyes of the world. People shouldn’t use that as a defense and if it true and that’s why you killed people…then you don’t need a lawyer, you need help.

Good old fashion H E L P

Good luck, solider l!

This is normal, right?!

i just read somewhere that having anger or sad feelings are a normal part of life and that having them shouldn’t make you feel so extreme because they are there and will always be there! You also shouldn’t worry about getting rid of them because they are a normal part of the brain and life.

Follow me?!?

Maybe My brain is telling me something is coming? Or that something needs to be done. It is right! Something need to be done but not with my feelings, with my life. I don’t know how I’m going to do it but my anger has to be a sign for something inside or out of myself.

I wonder if my mediciation has changed my anger in anyway?

I’m thinking about stopping it…

Hmmm…

Anger is back

I’ve been having horrible anger issues lately. My period is coming and it always makes me a difficult person to be around but this time I feel like it is something more!

I feel trapped in my own life. It sucks just to do normal things. That and I am not smoking.

So period, feeling trapped, and not smoking has made me into a very violent extreme person. It doesn’t help that I am with someone who never recognizes the signs and feeds into it every time. I love him but it sucks that he really doesn’t understand and it’s kind of out of sign out of mind with him.

I just need to get some excitement back into my life…

I need to get my life together

I’m not NOT anymore 

Right now, while on break at work, I feel so angry! I have quit smoking for a while and this is my 4th day.

I know that I have to get through the shit before I can get to feeling better but it is really catching up to me. The other day I broke down in Walmart crying! It was a mixed of my anger and not smoking. I just felt like a ball of fire, ready to explode.

I feel like no one understands what’s going on inside ever. Not even my husband. He doesn’t seem to really want to understand. He just thinks taking my mediciation is going to forever work and well… 

I’m getting tired of feeling tired, angry, fat, useless. I am changing this and not doing the stuff I don’t need to do!

Onwards…

….and you ask yourself: “how did I get here??

Writing is so hard when your feeling good. Nothing comes to you as freely as it did. Now, i’m looking at a keyboard
thinking of thing to write about.

Has my mental illness journey finally stop? I mean they do say, “all good things come to an end”, but I have
something that is helping my mood and stabling my life as much as it can. Shouldn’t I have more information and Ideas to venture??

They never tell you what happens after the storm.

So now, I’m sitting here, typing an excuse of why I don’t have an elaborate, cool, funny entry to give and asking myself:

What Now?

and did I ever have elaborate, cool, funny entries? I mean…