Sex, if you’re there, say something!!!

I am going through something that has been bothering me for a looooonnnnggggg time.


I am having so much trouble feeling sexually toward myself or my husband that I blame him for my problems. Last night we got into a fight because he told me that I never do anything sexually, and if I’m trying to change, then I have todo something…

Right now, I think sex is UGH UGH UGHHH! I don’t want anyone touching me, I don’t want to look at porn, anything sexually I don’t want it….right now.

I know stress and mental illness have me, but how can I at least feel something again. This is really stressing me out. I’m completely in a hole…

How do you overcome the mind to have sex???.?..

Or is that what this is?

I feel really guilty, but someone is blocking me so hard to actually do something about it. I don’t want to be in a stand still anymore. I hate this.

8 thoughts on “Sex, if you’re there, say something!!!

  1. By my understanding, sexual arousal has to do with hormones and the hypothalamus. Some men can fix it with testosterone replacement and women could possibly do the same with maybe estrogen. I am no doctor but maybe the mental health issues are not always the problem? It’s something I am exploring and mentioned to my doctor only this morning.


  2. Sorry to hear that you are not on meds right now. I strongly recommend taking medication for bipolar disorder. It makes all the difference in the world. Check out brain scans of bipolar patients without meds and bipolar patients with meds. Medication literally restores the brain. Some meds do have negative sexual side effects. Others do not. For me, Depakote and Lexapro work well. Earlier generation SSRI anti-depressants such as Zoloft had negative sexual side effects. Depression itself has a strong negative impact on sex drive. You must take that into consideration. Please see a psychiatrist for your bipolar disorder for your own health and for the health of your marriage. Having a loving spousal relationship is incredibly helpful when you are struggling with a mental illness.


  3. I was just about to write what blahpolar wrote, and then I saw your response. I’m sorry about this because yes, it sounds incredibly perplexing & you’ve been through enough hell already – you don’t need this crap! Unfortunately my answer will sound pat, but I wasn’t into sex with my heart again until I found meds that finally worked for me (lithium & MAOI. You may know that MAOI’s are known for treatment-resistant bipolar depression (especially when combined with lithium) but I was totally unaware of all that, and no shrink thought to mention that until I tried 20 other f*ing meds) Please forgive me for spacing out on your previous posts about not taking meds, but are you considering ever trying medication again?

    Again, I’m sorry. This sounds horrendous, and you’re in my thoughts!!!!! I hope no matter what things get much better soon!


    • What are MOAIs? And I don’t know if I’m going to keep on with medicine. I actually don’t know what I’m doing ever so…idk. Things I could be doing you should be doing but I just can’t seem to do it. By way of this problem in the first place. Thanks dyane always being there for me!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awwwww…..-I was worried you’d be put off by my well-meaning “advice”. I hate to sound pedantic (I’m not sure if that’s even the right word, but it sounds good! 😉 Anyway, MAOI’s (a.k.a. monoamine oxidase inhibitors) are known as “old-school” antidepressants from the 1950’s that are used for bipolar depression despite their being anti-depressants. The MAOI’s have strict food and beverage guidelines, and that freaks some folks out, but these restrictions are nothing insurmountable. One can’t eat aged cheeses, booze, and fermented foods (and some other foods) that contain an amino acid called tyramine that conflicts with the med. ANYHOOOO – I knew my Dad tried an MAOI in the 80’s for his bipolar but it didn’t work for him as he was an alcoholic and loved his gourmet cheeses & he couldn’t adhere to the guidelines.

        So, last year I was desperate after I got out of the dog kennel (where I had bilateral ECT) and I was still severely depressed. When my new pdoc suggested an MAOI called Parnate (tranylcypromine) I was like “WTF is that?” and he just said it was an MAOI.

        I had heard for years that MAOI’s were a big deal to take, but that was all b.s. Yes, I miss some no no foods and alcohol, but it’s worth it. I can still have my main food groups of coffee and chocolate so that’s a relief. It’s not cheap like my lithium but I pay out of pocket ($175 from Costco a month – it’s worth every penny to me) There are at least 4 or 5 other MAOI’s I know of. Here’s the last part. I did some online research and I found 2 small studies done in the 1970’s that showed when people took lithium *and* an MAOI, most of the subjects with bipolar depression had their depression lift – that convinced me. Yeah, the studies were small, but still. This combo. doesn’t work for everyone, obviously, and at first I had afternoon “Parnate” fatigue, but then that went away after a few weeks too. I encourage you to discuss it with a dr. if you can and if you’ve tried lots of other meds to no avail, including lithium. Sorry to go off here but I want so much for you to feel better, my dear. Please keep us posted, okay? XOXO


Rant on, my friends!

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