I have come up with elaborate ways to get out of work when I hate it.
Today I used a way. Now I feel stupid.
My mind hates doing anything it doesn’t want to do. My mind hates to do anything but smoke, hang out, and feel blah all day.
I have become a lazy individual that starts and stops everything I do.
My mental state hasn’t gotten any better either. Smoking has made it feel sloppy, stupid, tired, and stiff.
This isn’t thee real me. This isn’t who I am suppose to be.
I’m suppose to be fine.
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
You are who you are, even when you’re not fine. Sending strength your way.
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Just remember that it is your mental illness that makes you feel this way. Get that under control, (that is, correctly medicated) and things will improve. But getting the right meds, especially combinations, can be difficult. Good luck to you! I smoke when the BiPolar is flaring up.
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Hang in there. I hate to say it but I LIKE smoking. Bad bad bad blah blah blah I know but I DO! Oh these addictive tendencies…. be kind to yourself please 🙂
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I know how you feel…everything but the smoking, as I have never smoked cigarettes…..I am so sorry you’re going through this rough patch. Please keep us posted on how you’re doing.
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