I am sorry I have been so silent lately…
There has been nothing on my mind to write. Literally, all my drive has slipped away from me. I feel like, everyday, I’m slipping deeper and deeper into something I have no clue how to explain.
Writing out my feelings and problems has always helped me in the past, but now, I feel like writing it makes it just another problem that I haven’t solved, but put into words.
I have no action plan, no script for anything I am doing.
I have started a new job, which is great, B U T, I semi-kinda-don’t like it. It’s not professional, and I am not making any connections, money, or learning anything new. It is in my degree field, but its the lowest of the low. I will have to work at it if I am to making anything come from this job. I don’t know if I want to do that..
…I don’t know what I want to do.
Or need to do
Or can do.
I’m feeling really hopeless.
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
Employment is a good start. Hopeless isn’t. I feel that way every day. I get up wondering why. I’ve fell behind on writing myself, but mine was from having so much to say that it didn’t make any sense. So I would skip a day or two. But the one thing I’ve learned is that writing helps regardless what comes out. You can write complete jibberish, I’ll still read it. Because it doesn’t matter what is about. I don’t care if people read mine. It’s for me that I do it, not anyone else.
So go to work, Take it slowly, and your mind will figure it out for you. It may take time, crazy minds work faster than most but it’s not always the best judge to go by. Lol
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Sounds like your brain is giving you a hard time … that bites! getting a job is impressive. Well done 🙂
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No need for apologies. I am grateful for your posts whenever you feel like writing! I go through long periods of time when I can’t write. I’ve also experienced bona fide hypergraphia where my wrist was about to fall off. I wish us both a happy medium. I hope things get better with the job. I hope that the hopelessless (I know that feeling SO well:() goes the hell away, and soon. (((hugs))))!
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I can understand. I am in the hopeless stage too. But don’t fall down the rabbit hole, Alice! 🙂
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Stepping stones.
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