I am so angry right now, at everyone and everything.
Before, when I got angry I’d just spill it all out and say things I didn’t mean, and do things I really didn’t want to do. I had no control. Now, my angry seems almost serial killer like.
No, I’m not going to kill, but I just feel empty. I feel like an empty angry shell. I don’t really want to be angry, but I’m always playing the bigger person. I always play the its okay role, and then two seconds I’m back to the outgoing-nothing-is-wrong girl. This time, my angry is a slow toxic gas that waits to fill up the room until it kills you.
I haven’t said much to my husband or friends or myself in a couple of days. I haven’t really had any motivation to do anything other than eat, shit, sleep.
What am I to do about this? How do o release it? Exercise? Mediation? Food? I don’t want to do any of those, and there is no heat in my house, so moving around is a hell no.
I am one tough cookie to crack. I know more about myself than a fucking stranger. What is really bothering me!?