A slow toxin called ANGER

I am so angry right now, at everyone and everything.

Before, when I got angry I’d just spill it all out and say things I didn’t mean, and do things I really didn’t want to do. I had no control. Now, my angry seems almost serial killer like.

No, I’m not going to kill, but I just feel empty. I feel like an empty angry shell. I don’t really want to be angry, but I’m always playing the bigger person. I always play the its okay role, and then two seconds I’m back to the outgoing-nothing-is-wrong girl. This time, my angry is a slow toxic gas that waits to fill up the room until it kills you.

I haven’t said much to my husband or friends or myself in a couple of days. I haven’t really had any motivation to do anything other than eat, shit, sleep.

What am I to do about this? How do o release it? Exercise? Mediation? Food? I don’t want to do any of those, and there is no heat in my house, so moving around is a hell no.

I am one tough cookie to crack. I know more about myself than a fucking stranger. What is really bothering me!?

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “A slow toxin called ANGER

  1. You have to find somewhere to vent, and allow yourself to do something nice for yourself. I really can’t offer any advice. I have never been in your position. But I support you here, where you might vent your anger. You either give up or keep going. I think you’re the keep going type.

  2. Depression is anger turned inward. I don’t know what it is that is making you angry, but depression will follow if you don’t work through it toward a positive ends. Don’t ring a bell that can’t be un-rung, but list what constructive things you can do and the likely consequences.

Rant on, my friends!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s