There people probably don’t have a mental illness…fuckers..
You know what the worst problem has been for my relationship while dealing with this mental illness?
SEX
Sex for me has become non-existent. It has become so far in the back of my mind, Pluto isn’t ANYWHERE NEAR IT! and why is this? I never can think of anything sexual at all. My mind is either angry, depressed, sad, or on the go. What time do I have to slow it down and think about having sex?
My husband is so patient, but even patience has its limits. The other day I told him it was okay to see other people sexually, because I can’t give him what he needs/likes right now. How ABSURD! He told me he’s never do that, but how can I keep our sex lives active, and still try to deal with that’s going on with me?
I use to love sex. I use to be good at it. Now, I clam up every time he touches me. I feel blah even sitting here typing about it. Sex has become so foreign…
Is this my mind getting in the way?
How do you handle SEX with a mentally-illed person?
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a sex addict who no longer has an interest in sex. My wife and I haven’t had sex in almost a year and it doesn’t bother me much at all. I used to be addicted to porn but I can’t even remember when the last time I saw any porn. My life is really busy with work and school and so is my wife’s life with work and school. But I think it is my bipolar meds that have me indifferent to sex. I had a dream about sex with a stranger last night but I know it’s not going to happen because I am not interested.
I hope you can regain your passion, interest, and honestly, your lust for your husband. I know sex is a healthy part of a relationship and I hope we can both get back to that point.
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Thanks, but I am wishing you the same thing. I know this might sound…horrible, but is there anyway for you to fake it. You know what they say “Fake it, until you make it”.
I don’t know about your relationship really, but maybe your longing for intimacy because your dreaming of sex. The other night I had a dream I saw a girl get raped, and I looked it up and it said that I may have sexual dysfunctions! which I am. Dreams are the window to the soul…
good luck to you my friend 🙂
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Sex is a part of life. Sexual dysfunction is a part of mental illness and the treatment thereof. Don’t feel like it’s weird! It’s all something you should be able to talk to your doc about.
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Hey There,
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this! I know how hard it can be to engage when your libido is non-existent. Please pardon my upcoming vulgarity…
But despite my low sex drive I still get “build up boners” from not ejaculating regularly. At first I would masturbate them away, because I just wanted to get rid of the boner and wasn’t receiving any pleasure from it. But that made it so even if I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend, to please her, I wasn’t able to “get it up”. More recently I’ve been waiting for a build-up boner, and then attempting to engage in sex, so I can at least do what I need to do to help her feel good.
Point of that vulgarity being, and I’m not sure how this is for women (so I apologize if this doesn’t work how I think it does), perhaps you can focus on the pleasuring of him and allow him to do his thing? That is if the sex is really a big deal to him, it may not be. I personally don’t have a high sex drive even when hypomanic (weird, right?!), so perhaps you are more worried about his sex drive than he is? It is possible, I know it took a while for my girlfriend to accept that us not having sex every day wasn’t due to her being ugly or not good enough.
Sincerely,
Falling Apart (I need a new username on here, it was only really appropriate the first time I posted. :P)
PS Perhaps if it is the medication, you can try hunting down some sexy pornos or a silly/sexy toy for him? Something to give you time to become comfortable with sex again, and something he can engage in without you worrying about how he is getting his sex-fix.
PSS You know, I think you should force a smile because your husband tossed aside an opportunity plenty of shitheads in this world would jump on. I know my stepdad openly asked my mom for threesomes/permission to have sex with other women, so at least he isn’t one of those! YOU ARE LOVED!
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Thank you so much for this. I’m glad someone knows what I’m talking about. I will try your advice and see how it goes. I just got meds, so we will see. Thanks for listening 🙂
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Firstly I like the new blog design! Secondly, I found changing my meds from Olanzapine to Abilify completed changed my libido, for the better.
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Well I just got meds TODAY, so we will see how it goes with it… good luck to you and your libido 🙂
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My husband and I are both bipolar and we are both on meds and stable. We still cycle through the ups and downs with less exaggeration than we once did. One thing that we have begun to do is talk about what we are feeling (hot or cold) before it escalates into ringing a bell that can’t be unrung.(eg, me blaming him or him blaming me) We both recognize that the ups and downs are normal and nobodies fault.
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That’s great you both are on the same page. I am slowly getting my husband there. I guess it takes time…and a patience mind
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I was literally having this cconversation with my pdoc today.t’s hard when you can’t tell where your sex drive ends and the side effects of the mental illness begins. Bipolar is tricky because a hypomanic state can bring an increased sex drive whereas depression really kills the mood. Both my husband and I are bipolar who h presents its own set of challenges. However, it is up to you. If you clam up when he touches you, maybe you can start it-set the mood so that way it’s not like he’s putting a cold hand on you or disturbing your peaceful slumber. Just a suggestion. It really does suck.
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Please pardon my inability to type correctly on my “smart” phone.
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Its so hard to tell. I’m in for a bumpy ride. KUDOS to you for talking to your Dr about such a weird thing. I think I might next time.
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