Right now, I’m feeling mixed. There is nothing really wrong me with, but there is. I feel pulled in two different directions with my mind.
I didn’t start feeling like this until later on in the day, after I got some errands ran. Afterwards, I felt ugh and low, but not depressed. Not until my husband came home from work did I really start to feel bad. He came in in a rare mood – he was irritable and moody, but made my mood worse. He just doesn’t understand what its like for me, to deal with this everyday. I try to tell him how I feel, but every time I do he stops me and says ‘Oh, I know what your going to say’ and ‘You always say this when you get depressed’. Soon, there might not be ME to talk to you. I might actually lose it and then what…
How can I stop this heavy blanket of shit from falling all over me. I tried to so mindfulness. I tried to focus my thoughts onto something else, but got pulled under before it even made a different.
Anger, depression, sadness, feeling like I HAVE to be doing something more. All of these feelings run through me 24/7. I wake up because of it. I get high because of it. I blog because of it. It seems like the only real thing I have are these feelings..
the only real thing..