Running on BIPOLAR juice. Want some?

I’m feeling it today…
That voice in my head that doesn’t stop talking. Doesn’t stop saying ‘you are shitty’, ‘you have nothing’, ‘your worthless’. I hate that voice! That voice always gets in the way of my plans, dreams, and it never stops. My mind is always racing too, between the crazy voice. I feel like my mind never gets a break…

Now, I’m going to correct you, because I’m not hearing VOICES. The voice sounds like my voice, but alot meaner, and louder. This voice has always been the one bringing me down… Like right now.

I need to get some therapy soon because I don’t know much much longer I can keep up appearances… But what appearance am I putting on anyway? I never have it all together, I’ve always been fat, I’ve always been bouncing around from idea to idea, job to job. This time I don’t have marijuana to calm me down and bring me back to a chill comatose state.

Ugh! The next step for me, I GUESS, is just relax, not listening to my crazy mind, and keep my eyes on the prize: a healthy, sane body , mind, and life. Is that too hard to ask for?

To end this post, I will quote one of the saddest Disney princesses. She was waiting for a long time too, like me, for her future to begin and she complained better than I can..with a song…

“someday my prince will come…

Yeah someday, right? Shit…

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4 thoughts on “Running on BIPOLAR juice. Want some?

  1. Can I have a sip?
    Ugh, reading you talking about that voice reminds me of doctors asking me when I was a kid if I heard voices.
    “Yeah, I guess.”
    “Well, is it a man or a woman?”
    “I don’t know. It sounds like me, so I guess it’s a little girl?”
    “Here! Try all of these antipsychotics in my pocket, little girl!”
    “But.. it’s just my conscience.. I’m not schizophr..”
    *Shoves drugs down throat*
    *Week later*
    “How do you feel, Jan?”
    “I am now mixed episode, occasionally manic, and very paranoid zombie Jan. I can jump to the most irrational conclusion in a single second. Your pencils are going to stab me, and you are Hitler.”

    Good times! Now gimme some of that Bipolar Juice!

      • I’m not saying ALL doctors are going to mistake the conscience for multiple personalities or schizophrenia, but I am definitely saying that ALL doctors are Hitler and want to force-feed you atypical antipsychotics to zombify you and force you into their new army.

        (I’m not really saying that.)

Rant on, my friends!

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