Highly depressed..
Feeling manic though.. (can that happen??)…
Lost…
Sad….
Loved…
Confused..
Cluttered
Behind…
Stupid
Can someone feel all those in one time? And if so, how much more can they deal with until they explode, and cause serious injury to themselves and others?
Will I be the next nut that blows up something? What is happening to me…
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Finding normality within Bipolarity. The inner musings of a chemically challenged manic-depressive. Mildly* asocial and a purveyor of awesome.
Bipolar, Unemployed & Lost 
Like rsdntbplr, I thought “mixed episode” when I read “can that happen?”
Let’s see. Way back when (before I became Big Pharma’s bitch), I was in a mixed state that turned full blown manic for about 4 months? That’s when I ended up hospitalized. So you can deal for 4 more months. Just kidding. 😛
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Haha!
4 months aannnndd GO! 🙂
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I take it your in the USA, and I think that what you are going through is a good example of why you guys need universal healthcare over there. I am in Australia, and we do have universal healthcare, so someone like me, who as you are am bipolar and unemployed, can get the help I need without having to have health insurance. If I didn’t, I would also add the lost part, and prior to being diagnosed with bipolar, everything you have said here was how it was for me. The funny thing is, I also used to self medicate as well with the green herb, and it made the worst of the episodes better, but I can tell you you can’t beat being on the right medication. It may take some time, and sometimes you may think you are in a worse hell than not having it at all, but when the right balance of meds can be found, it makes life just that little bit easier. I know that my meds aren’t 100% spot on, as I do have my down times and sometimes have the manic side peek through also, but it is much better than the muddled, chaos that was in my head before. I also have other health issues that make me just about unemployable, well, in the eyes of employers anyhow, and I am now a single parent as of earlier this year.
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It can indeed happen in those diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A mixed episode (Google is your friend here) would fit what you are describing, though I hasten to add that to warrant a diagnoses under the DSM descriptors symptoms must be present for a sustained period of time.
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I can relate. I have been struggling for a long time now. It is hell. I am with you, Sister!! We have to all hang in there together.
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I am actually there with you right now. I have started cutting again. Yes, once person ca n feel all of those things. I generally go to bed. However, I am also dealing with social phobia. Have you ever had that?
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I have never experienced social phobia. I mean, I’m great with other people around. Its just when no one is around I’m all those things. I know you probably know this but cutting sucks. Are you talking to anyone about it. I dint know what to do to get over thus stupid hump of life.
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I am talking to my therapist and doctor. Problem is they are 30 mins away and I am afraid to drive that far! How ridiculous is the illness?
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