The wheels on the bus go round and round

Yesterday I realized that my family will throw me under the bus very VERY quickly.

I won’t go into detail about what happened, but I will say that my grandmother and mother are very mean, evil, angry women. I know where it comes from now.

They talked about me so badly while I sat in the other room trying to calm down and go over what happened in my head. They talked about my friends, my wedding, and how selfish I am. They did all this under the impression that I did something that I DID NOT do.

Is this mental illness? I know my mother has one, but does my grandmother have a mental illness? It was so quick for them to jump on me and make me feel like shit, and show no remorse about it when I told then what really happened.

My nana gave me a really lame ‘if I’m wrong, I’m sorry’ but how could you say the things you did and then 30 mins be sorry…

I don’t know how to handle this. It’s not like I can change the family I have, but it seems like every member of my family aren’t happy.They are mean, selfish, uncaring people, yet they expect me to help and care for them. To be like their needing and sounding board.

I am really going through something right now. The whole beginning of this year has been challenging my mental illness, my body, and my heart. I will get through this though and be a better person and supporter to the people I know and love, but I will never give my family all of myself anymore.

That’s just for me.

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2 thoughts on “The wheels on the bus go round and round

  1. I understand how you feel. My mother was not a nice person, and even though she is gone now, she still has power over me. (We are working on this in therapy.) My therapist and I traced my unemployment back through a line leading to my mother. It’s really sad. My grandmother got her digs in too. Just because someone shares your genes doesn’t mean they deserve to share your heart. {hugs}

    • Aw! Thanks for that. Right now, I haven’t spoken to my grandmother or mother. I feel guilty and still can’t believe my nana would say those horrible things about me. I can forgive but never forget.

Rant on, my friends!

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