:(

Today, broke my heart.

I didn’t get the job I wanted (denied AGAIN!), and then today I saw a person that I haven’t seen in years – my old manager. This manager stands out to me because it was the BEST job I’ve ever had and he also has known me since I was 13 years old.

The fucked up thing was, I passed him without said hello or anything. I know I probably should have stopped and said hello, but when I was walking toward him he turned his back to not face me, like he didn’t want me to know it was him. It crushed me.

I should have stopped and said hello…why didn’t I? Why did I let that opportunity pass me by, and why did he not turn around and say hello to me? Are we too different now to be civil, or still say hello? Are those days long gone, and if they are why are they always in my mind? For me, that job was everything. Looking back on some posts that I wrote while working, you would say I hated my job. I always complained about going in, dealing with customers, cleaning, but it was the best job ever. Since then…nothing has made me feel the same.

Now that I saw him, it makes me realize that my friends from before were never my friends for life. They were my friends for then. I don’t even talk to anyone I worked with then anymore, they are all memories, walking pass me without saying hello. I want to get over things. I want to start living past-free.

How?

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One thought on “:(

  1. I am sorry, i would be crushed. Someone else wrote about reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and how much that helped her be in the now, not the past or the future. I am going to try that. But really honey I am sorry for your sadness.

Rant on, my friends!

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