Searching Inside for Something

This is uncomfortable. To blog about a my life.

Wait, let me not say that. I’ve actually held a blog for years on another site. I use to love to blog. Back then, it wasn’t called “blogging”, it was a journal. A journal where I wrote about stupid things, funny things, boys, drinking, dancing, about a life that seems so far away. A life I don’t remember living.

What’s different now?

Now, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, i’m fatter, engaged, and unemployed. I guess this time around I’m looking to reflect, and to understand how I got here. Most people would look at my life and want it. They would want the connection I feel with my fiance, my endless amount of electronics, my house, my friends…but for me, it’s nothing. Have I always been this way. Not seeing what good is around me?

Yes.

The question I want to ask is why? Why am I not happy with what I have? What I have achieved..

I guess this first entry is to remind myself where I am starting, and how low I feel. I want to connect with people just like me. I want to help people who aren’t happy. 

Here’s to another journal. Here’s to a new beginning and a fresh start

 

Rant on, my friends!

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